Two Thirds of Obese Kids Surveyed Say They Have Sumo Wrestling Ambitions

In a shockingly bold move, schools nationwide are adopting a radical approach to childhood obesity by encouraging aspiring sumo wrestlers among their overweight students. The latest survey reveals that a staggering two-thirds of obese kids not only dream of sumo greatness but are actively seeking opportunities to bulk up for their future wrestling careers.

Dubbed the "Yokozuna Youth Movement," this controversial initiative has nutritionists scratching their heads as schools trade salad bars for sumo-sized meals, claiming that these hefty kids are simply embracing their inner potential. Physical education classes are now transformed into intense sumo training sessions, complete with ceremonial rituals and traditional loincloths.

Parents are divided – some are thrilled that their children's dreams of sumo stardom are being recognized, while others worry about the long-term health effects of the program. Nevertheless, the movement shows no signs of slowing down, with schools even hosting sumo-themed proms and graduation ceremonies to celebrate their newfound focus on embracing size.

As childhood obesity rates skyrocket, critics argue that the Yokozuna Youth Movement is creating a generation of kids obsessed with becoming the next sumo sensation. Meanwhile, supporters claim that it's a revolutionary approach to inclusivity and self-acceptance, suggesting that sumo dreams might just be the key to unlocking a healthier future for these young aspiring wrestlers.